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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560783">Withering</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesynlikeasin/pseuds/lovesynlikeasin'>lovesynlikeasin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, First War with Voldemort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Remus Lupin, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sad Ending, Werewolf Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:34:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesynlikeasin/pseuds/lovesynlikeasin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin is forced to deal with a life without his family. Three of his friends are dead, and the one he held the closest is the one responsible. And it fucking hurts. How will he be able to cope with this?</p>
<p>[A oneshot after Lily and James's death and Sirius supposed killing of Peter. Remus is grieving and don't know how to deal with this ]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Withering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my take on Remus's reaction to the tragic news.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>People were saying their niceties to each other. The order of Phoenix had gathered to have their own little farewell with James and Lily. Their deaths had hit hard. Even with Voldemort defeated. </p>
<p>Remus Lupin sat on a chair, by himself, his eyes fixated on a vase with flowers. He hadn't been talking to anyone. There was no point in talking to anyone. Truth to be told, the only reason he was there at all was because he knew people would be worried if he wasn't. They'd jump to the conclusion that he'd probably do something stupid if he wasn't among peers. He didn't know whether or not they were right, because he was pretty certain that the only emotion he felt was numbness. </p>
<p>He had lost them. All of them. James, Peter....Sirius. Two of them were dead. One was going to rot away in Azkaban. Sirius had killed them. He was a traitor. In bed with the bloody enemy. He might not of been the one casting the killing curse at Prongs, but he was the ultimate reason for his friend's death. </p>
<p>Someone sat down next to him but Remus didn't bother to look who it was. His eyes were still on those bloody flowers. Lily would of hated them. "Harry is safe now." it was Dumbledore speaking but Remus wanted nothing but to tune out the sound. It wasn't that he didn't care if Harry was safe or not but he knew the child would be as long as Dumbledore was watching over it. </p>
<p>He didn't want to think about it, because it might pull him out of this numb as shit state he was in. He was far from ready to leave the comfort of numbness. The old wizard gave a sigh but didn't say anything. Albus rose to his feet, making his way over to the Weasley's, after giving a light squeeze on Remus's shoulder. </p>
<p>The worst of all, was that despite that Sirius was the one responsible, he was also the one Lupin longed for. He wanted to hold his hand just one more time. <br/>He sucked in air, and closed his eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Bottled emotions were clawing at his inner walls. How had everything turned out like this? </p>
<p>Just a month ago the four of them were together, having the merriest time even with the bloody war breathing them down their necks. They had toasted to anything worth toasting for, talking about Hogwarts, the future, plans for when they finally defeated he who must not be named. Well it was fucking obvious that Padfoot had an entirely different plan than them. </p>
<p>How could he? How could he betray them all like that? How could he betray him? No one could read him like Sirius, no one could understand him like Sirius. There just wasn't anyone quite like Sirius Black. </p>
<p>Had it all been a lie? Had he gotten his face blasted off the family tapestry just to prove that he wasn't like the rest of his family? To fool them? It ached to think about and Remus wanted nothing but jolt from the gathering. He was his best friend. How could he do this to them? To him? He could at least had the decency to kill him as well. Not leaving him to cope with all this. </p>
<p>Remus suddenly got up on his feet in a rash manner and growled. It wasn't much like him but he couldn't stomach this anymore. He felt a rush of anger go through his veins and he heard people gasp as he grabbed a hold of that bloody vase and threw it in the wall, causing it to shatter to a thousand pieces. "She'd hate it!" he cried out in anger. The werewolf in him rooted for him to destroy everything in his path (cause enough harm to get thrown in a cell next to Sirius. So he could kill him for his betrayal, or just hug him tight). "This is stupid! Prongs wouldn't want this! He'd want a bloody party, then for us to find every single one of those bastards left and kill them!" he continued, his body shaking in rage and grief sewn together. </p>
<p>"It's good to see you." someone interupted his trainwreck of thoughts. The werewolf blinked, realizing he was still seated in his hard chair. His eyes went to the vase again. Whole. Standing there. Mocking him. Calling out his cripled mind. Remus looked up at Frank Longbottom, looking slightly puzzled, and he forced a weak smile, but he knew it must look like he was in pain instead. Well, fuck that, he was. It hurt! Everything about this just hurt. No matter what he did, there was just an all around ache.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry for your loss." Frank's wife, Alice, said quietly as she was trying to calm their newborn son. Everyone knew that for Remus, it was like losing his family. The marauders were all like family. Remus gave a nod to them both, opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He just wanted to turn back time. Or die. Both were options he was willing to accept at the moment. Alice's eyes were glassy and she placed a hand on his shoulder, while managing Neville in one arm. "It's okay, Remus. Just know; our home is always open if you need it." Remus held back a sob. </p>
<p>Damn emotions. He just wanted to keep his numbness. He was prepared to deal with this now (even if he knew he should get it out of his system before the next fullmoon. Fuck! What was he gonna do then? When no Prongs, no Wormtail, no.....Padfoot to keep him grounded?) but he just wasn't ready for it. Would he ever? He looked up at Alice, tears forming in his eyes. He had no one left. He had lost his family all in one night. He was trying to breath but he was felt as if he was choking once again. Alice squeezed his shoulder, and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You're not alone." Remus Lupin choked, a deep sob escaped him, finally. Frank slipped his hands around his son, taking him gently from his wife, giving Alice free arms. She seated down next to him, wrapping her arms around the young man, allowing him to sob freely in her arms. She wasn't saying anything, just let him cry. </p>
<p>It didn't matter that everyone was looking at them, because everyone wanted nothing but take away his pain. Every member of the order grieved, over James, and Lily and Peter, but also Remus because they knew the betrayel of his closes friend, had caused a part of Remus to die as well. </p>
<p>It would take almost thirteen years before Remus's withered part, would blossom once again.</p>
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